Møde med Indisk adoptiv par 

Today I met with the nice couple that also hosted the Lonavla BV yearly get together at their resort. Beautiful place as you all saw....out in the country, away from everything, just peace and quietness. I had such a great time speaking to all the parents and meeting their children especially the host. He was kind to invite my crew and myself for dinner to his house in Juhu, which is in the Mumbai area.

He and his wife had both agreed to sit down for an interview, as I was extremely curious once I heard that they actually could have biological children of their own but had chosen to adopt. Wow, I thought, this is out of the norm especially for an Indian family.

They informed me that they considered giving a child born into this world unwanted a chance in life was the greatest gift they could give themselves and the child. Normally I don’t like to think of adoption as a gift however this case is placed with the right heart and mind. Their son was absolutely adorable, and I must say that I enjoyed his company. He was full of life and energy as most children, happy and healthy.

The question of when to tell your child that he/she is adopted came up. I thought, that’s not something I should get involved with, but decided to voice my personal opinion. I strongly feel that it is of out most importance to inform your child about their heritage, past, etc at a young age so that they get the chance to grow up and ask all the questions that he/she may want to know more about. There is nothing like a huge secret especially if it comes from your parents, the ones you love and trust.

The question is, how to go about it. I know for a fact that there are many books out in the world, which deals with adoption and not being a product of your adoptive parents. It makes it all the more special for a child to know why their parents may be of a different ethnic race then them but there is no need to push the issue either. Kids are smart. Once they know, they will ask while growing up whatever it is they want to know. I know that while growing up I would ask about my biological parents especially my bio mom. My mom would tell me that she loved me very much therefore she gave me up so that I could be apart of their family etc. As I grew older more information was shared though it’s not a lot. My parents never believed in keeping anything from me, but at the same time always felt that there is a time and age for everything. I have always known that I was adopted, how could I not. My mom has blonde hair and green eyes and though my father is Indian, it still did not make sense that I only looked like one of them.

I will talk more about this topic in my book, but to end on a good note. To all adoptive parents, I personally feel that it is of most importance to inform your children that they are adopted at an early age. If they want to know more, they’ll ask you. It does not make them love you any less and though some are worried that their kids may say “well you are not my real mom” when they get angry with you or do not get your way, don’t take it to heart one bit. Instead talk to them about how it hurts you if and when they say that.

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